


Momma

by Tarvok



Series: Dear... [82]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-06
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-03 15:39:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarvok/pseuds/Tarvok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard writes his own Momma.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Momma

Momma,  
As dictated by Dr. Leonard McCoy.

By Tarvok

Rated PG. M/M, Gen. Character study. Nu!Trek.

 

Momma,

I'm sorry I haven't contacted you in so long, especially now that I'm on Earth and have been for a while. Things have just been way too involved here and I haven't been able to really get away long enough to do anything. 

You know about Jim, right? Well, he's been moved to a hospice that's about sixty miles farther away from the hospital he was at before. He's got more tubes and chemicals in him than any man ought to. We had to move him to a hospice, because his specialised care was making the local medical bureaucracy nervous.

Sarek... he's the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth, and Spock's dad... Spock is Jim's husband and bondmate... anyway, Sarek has been doing these interesting Vulcan healing techniques with Jim while he's in the coma. He says he's talking to Jim's mind in there and trying to help him heal from all the shit he's been through so his brain can start to heal itself and maybe he'll wake up. Skaron, the guy that was doing this before Sarek, showed him what to do.

I don't know about Vulcan healing techniques, but I am now a converted believer in Vulcan mind-melds. Those are some crazy things, Momma. It's like being joined completely with another person in your soul. They're amazing things. All there is is this constant feeling of love and acceptance.

I told you once, while I was at school, about Vulcan physiology, remember? About how they go through something called _pon farr_ every so many years? Well, Spock is half-Human, so his cycle is erratic. He needed to be with someone or die, and I offered.

He's Jim's One and Only, and I could never have faced him should he wake up and his whole reason for living be gone. I couldn't do that to my best friend, Momma. So I slept with my best friend's husband to save his life.

It's not even about what Jim will do when... if he finds out. I'm in love with Spock, Momma. I haven't felt this way for long, but I know it's real. It's unlike anything I ever felt with Jocelyn, or anyone else for that matter. When I'm holding him, I just... the world stops and everything starts to resemble something beautiful for once.

We've already had “the talk.” We talked for hours about Jim and the stupid shit he would always get himself into. God. We both cried about it, too, though Spock in a much less obvious way than I did. I may have been a bit tipsy. 

I told him I loved him. I just blurted it out like an idiot. I thought he'd tell me off in that quiet way of his, but... he didn't. He held my hand and told me it was all going to be all right; that he already knew.

I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't for him to kiss me, Momma. I swear I thought all the stuff that happened when he was in... well... _heat_... was just that. I didn't think he actually felt anything for me. God. We made love, Momma. What kind of friend does that make me to Jim? I held onto him like he could disappear at any second and I'd be left like a man dying of thirst in a desert.

I woke up this morning to find a box by the window sill, and in it was Spock's IDIC necklace. I showered and went to get ready for another soul-crushing day staring at Jim's blank brain scans, and there was Spock. Sitting at the breakfast table sipping his damn tea. I thought he'd left. He asked me if I'd found it. I said that yeah, I had.

He told me to keep it in case Jim never woke up. I didn't say anything to that 'cause there was nothing _to_ say, and all he did was get up and leave after saying something like, “I shall see you at the hospice.”

I know he's hurting, Momma. I know he's hurting real bad. We all are, but he is the most. I know it because there's this weird wiggly Spock-thought in the back of my head that's been there since his _pon farr_ , and it's gotten stronger since last night. When I get close enough to him physically, it throbs and I get a headache. But I know what he's feeling. Hell, I thought he had no feelings. Boy, was I fucking wrong. It's a miracle he's even kept it together at all.

That's why... that's why I'm not gonna stop. If he keeps coming over on nights when Jo's at a friend's, or keeps taking me up on my offers of dinners and movies, and all that garbage... I'm not going to stop making love to him. If Jim hates me forever for this, then I'm sorry, but I can't hurt Spock anymore than I already have. I know I've got my own issues. I still have nightmares of the night I got the call about Jocelyn... but he's got nightmares about the morning Jim had the stroke.

I hope you aren't angry with me, Momma. I know your views on this sort of thing. I just... I needed to tell someone, and I don't have anyone to tell. Jim's gone, and he was the one I always told this stuff to. 

If you aren't angry with me, I'll bring my little Jo by to see you guys soon. It's almost Christmas again, and Spock... well, Jo wanted to spend it with Spock, too. If you're okay with it, I'd like to bring him. I think Pa would like him, if for no reason other than he'd have someone to talk to about his nerdy things.

-Love Lenny

 

 

 


End file.
